Put an end to dating violence!

What is Dating Abuse?

Dating abuse is a pattern of violence, threats and/or manipulation used to coerce and control one's partner in a dating relationship. Dating abuse can take many forms.

Here are some examples:

EMOTIONAL ABUSE: Yelling, name-calling (especially sexual names), verbal harassment humiliating you in public or private, accusing you of dating others or flirting with others, blaming you for his/her own problems.

PHYSICAL ABUSE: Punching, choking, hair-pulling, slapping, shoving, bending or twisting your fingers, arm twisting, hitting you head against the wall, pushing you into/pulling you out of a car.

SEXUAL ABUSE: Rape, unwanted touching or kissing, forclng you into unwanted sex acts, wanting sex after hitting, refusing to use birth control/protectlon.

FINANCIAL ABUSE: Stealing your money, using your ATM card or credit card without permission, deliberately breaking or damaging your possessions.

Warning Signs

To figure out if you are a victim of dating abuse, ask yourself these questions. Does the person I am dating...

Act jealous or possessive?
Insist on making all the decisions?
Treat me with disrespect (insult me, call me names, order me around)?
Blame me (or others) for his/her feelings or actions
Pressure me for sex?
Use physical force (hit me, restrain me, throw things) to get his/her way?
Refuse to accept that I want to break up?
Beg for another chance, especially after an outburst?
Blame drugs or alcoho1 for his/her violence?

Remember
You are not alone.
The abuse is not your fault.

Are You Afraid? What If You Want Out?

Talk to an adult NOW about staying safe and getting help. The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
There are people in your school, community and family who can help you.
You can also call us at the Domestic Violence Center of Chester County.
Our toll-free 24-hour hotline number is 1-888-711-6270.
Our services are free and confidential.The staff is here to help you. We will listen and provide you with information and support.
We can also refer you to other appropriate professionals who can help you if you need services not available at our agency.

If you or anyone else is in
immediate physical danger
CALL 9-1-1.

Safety Planning

Deciding whether to go out...

Know about the person who asked you out before you say "yes."
If your friends express concern about you going out with this person, take their warnings seriously.
If you have any concerns about going out with the person, DON'T GO.

If you decide to go...

Stay with or near other people: go to public places, double-date, or hang out with a group
Avoid being in an isolated area.
Be able to leave on your own: know where there are telephones and exits; have money with you in case you need to use the telephone or call a cab.

If you want to break up with someone who has been abusing you...

End the relationship over the telephone, so the abuser can't hurt you.
If you must see your former partner, do it in a public place
If you are alone at home, do not let the abuser in, no matter what he/she says.
Take any threats of violence by an abuse seriously. Don't laugh them off as "impossible" or a "sign of love". Abusers have no limits to what they will do, regardless of the consequences.

Key Points To Remember

ANYONE can be a victim of dating violence. Victims (and abusers) come from all age groups, races, classes and backgrounds.
Abuse gets worse over time. It may begin with verbal abuse and escalate to physical or sexual assault or other violence.
YOU cannot change the abuser. For any change to take place, the abuser must take responsibility for his/her behavior.

Your safety is important.
If you are in immediate danger
CALL 9-1-1

For information, help, or just someone to talk to, call our toll-free 24-hour hotline: 1-888-711-6270.